Oh my God! Clarks, Burtons, Topclown, everywhere is out of size 18s. What is a clownstepper to do? I have all the trappings of a successful clown, hula hoop belt, shiny red nose, car that’s only just big enough for a small Ethopian child with huge speakers blaring out Twisted Individual’s latest classic ‘Dribbly Arse Wipe’ (Zen Rmx) but I can’t get my size 18s for love nor money! It’s almost enough to make me trade it all in, grow a massive beard and start talking about the redundancy of Amens and Reeses in modern music…