“British Whispers” is the latest craze to grip the nation, causing freak paranoia and strange behaviour.

Born out of “Chinese Whispers”, “British Whispers” aims to take pettyness and back stabbing to new heights in search of a groundbreaking world record.

D’n'B Scientists claim that the high levels of idle gossip floating around the D’n'B atmosphere have seriously contributed to “political warming”.

Political warming has the following side effects:

• Unusually long periods of heated conversations (”heat waves”)

• D’n'B ocean warming, gossip-level rise, and floods of new labels.
  

• Friendships melting.
  

Unfortunately, “political warming” is invetable as we move into the digital revolution. It seems the death of vinyl and the birth of a new technological landscape have all contributed irreperably to rises in artist competition, levels of gossip and floods of new record labels. The fight for ownership continues: where it will all end we don’t yet know…

A new wave of Wobble-titus has swept the city, the first case being reported in North London. Tim Nitus claimed symptoms were typically: loud ringing in the ears, sore lower back and knees, a stonking headache and an over emotional state of mind. The cause of the epidemic is not yet known, but it is thought to be the result off spending an evening night rampaging at the local superclub listening to a savage eight hours of wobble-step. After a bout of 999 calls at unearthly hours, London doctors are swiftly working to treat the problem…the best advice they can give is to steer clear of the wobble…