During my continual under cover investigation posing as a rubbish collector I can exclusively reveal the contents of many of our beloved DJ’s and producers bins.

Scouring the country, moving from council to council, I have been privy to more information than you can shake your big wobbly clown shoes at.

So without further ado I give you the first 4’s top 5’s.

‘The Great Grooverider’

1. The most common item I found in the Rider’s bins were letters of complaint drafted to local takeaways, including the now infamous catchphrase ‘Grooverider shut you down’.
2. So just how does the Groove get his groove on? Well judging by the number of copies of Usher – ‘Yeah’ I can only presume that the U.S. superstar helps the Rider into the zone.My only question would be why so many copies?
3. This leads to my next discovery: inflatable aquatic mammals, or more specifically deflated inflatable aquatic mammals. How does someone get through so many blow up toys? They looked like they’d taken a real pounding.
4. The fourth item I pulled from the Rider’s bins was well, a bin. A Bin with a dent in it. No, I have no idea either.
5. Finally, how does his Riderness keep so trim? Alfalfa home grow kits. Who could have seen that one coming?

John ‘The Hair’ B

1. You’re thinking hair products right? Wrong! John’s most commonly discarded item is magazines. But not Knowledge or Sound on Sound as you might expect; Cross Stitch, Carp Fishing and Junior Puzzler are the order of the day here.
2. Polaroids of ‘American Girls.’ Oh the filth!
3. Kellogg’s Special K – Now we know how he keeps his god-like figure.
4. Diaries, lots of them… this man is a confession machine! You will be shocked, amazed and just plain baffled… but that is another exposé altogether.
5. Charmin Ultra tissues, the one with the teddy bear pictures on. Ah, what a big softie.

Next up is Bingo top dog and Tru Playa, Zinc.

1. How ironic that Zinc’s top trump trash item should be packaging covering a wide range of pulses and grains, well known as a good source of Zinc.
2. Comfort Vaporesse, the popular no-more-creases Easy Iron liquid.
3. Surely this one should have gone on eBay? Third we have a rather substantial collection of Freddie Mercury memorabilia.
4. Terry’s ‘All Gold’ chocolate assortment boxes - and lots of them!
5. By this point I was starting to spot a theme. The final item I pulled from the trash was a Silver surfer comic, good to see he’s still a kid at heart.

Our fourth Victi.. er, subject is Dillinja

1. Well poor old Karl. Looks like the king of ‘Big Bad Bass’ had more of a case of ‘Big Bad Ass’. The stack of discarded underwear looked as though he’d twisted more than just the one out.
2. The entire 2005 season of ‘Top Gear’ on DVD, presumably he’s harvested it for samples for ‘Fast Car (2006)’
3. Now this one had me baffled at first: plumbing catalogues. Presumably he was looking for some new Valves.
4. Lot’s of cleaning products. Well, he wouldn’t want his house getting Grimey now would he?
5. A Multi-pack of multi-packs of ‘Walnut Whip’ – I hadn’t seen these for years, and managed to convince myself they were a dead chocolate breed. Could it be that he has a stranglehold on the whipped walnut confectionary market? Is he in fact depriving our nut loving brethren of what must surely be the crown jewel in their crunchy crown?

So there you have it.

I will be back with more shocking (or not so shocking) finds as soon as I’ve sifted my way through this next stash of trash.

Until next time,

Laura Croft – Bin Raider