A well known and respected DJ was dissed this week by his record label in a classic case of hit’n'run MySpace apathy.
Jacques Fantastique,* a high profile disc jockey, is reported this week to have unleashed a torrent of verbal wrath against his record label, St Albans Music, upon the discovery that they clearly and deliberately failed to put him in their “Top 8″ on MySpace.com. Had they done so, he would have been listed alongside other well known signed artists such as Cobra Slow, DJ Subtle and CDJ.
Outraged at the apparently pure lack of respect for their long standing working relationship, Jacques is said to have raised his complaint to the highest level, and, happily, has since managed to restore the status-quo.
MySpace.com is a dating and personals web site where teenage girls can anonymously contact musicians to solicit sex.
* All names changed to protect the guilty.
TC and Dillinja have teamed up to unleash upon the unsuspecting world this incredible VIP mashup. Remember: you heard it here second. Read more…
In a shocking turn of events not seen since Dillinja decided to release “Fast Car”, Ram Records’ RED ONE has asked that a cartoon depicting him as an ugly bastard be taken down post haste. It’s a little shocking, as you would think that (a) such good natured D’n'B guys as those at Ram could take a joke, and (b), well, lets just say that he’s no pin-up. There is a reason that some musicians become pop stars, and that others are just producers. Red, your musical talents are unquestioned, and you are aligned with one of the top labels in the Wobble-sphere - but do us a favour, grab a mirror, and get over it.
[Naturally, here at the Wobble we’re a fan of all of Monsta’s hideously deformed cartoons - keep ‘em coming - Ed.]
So just who is TESCO VALUE? I’ll tell you one thing for free: it ain’t the guy they’re talking about here. It also isn’t Blu Mar Ten. It also isn’t El Hornet, it also isn’t Andy C, it also isn’t Subfocus, it also isn’t DJ Dara, and it also isn’t Roni Size. It’s also not the queen. In fact, the list of people it isn’t is extremely long and star studded. So many cool people aren’t TESCO VALUE that, on balance, you’re probably more likely to be cool if you’re not him.
Not seems to be the theme here. He’s not a chav - chav’s don’t have this man’s ability to regain the powers of normal speech when it’s merely humorous to do so. He also doesn’t work at Tesco. In fact, he’s not much more than a character with a witty, if unorthodox, reparteé based upon trolling 101. If this was the world of Peep Show, Tesco would be the posh musician playing the role of the Posh Spaz, playing the role of the chav musician. Waitrose dressed up as Harrods dressed up as Tesco, if you like. An identity-crisologist would have a field day.
Read more…
Riots have broken out of late out of a dispute over who should remix the all time classic - Old MacDonald Had a Farm. Producers such as Fresh, G Dub, Technicolour and Clipz all want a piece of the multi-million dollar remix - who ever succeeds in doing so is guaranteed a fat wage cheque. Let the production-off begin!
“British Whispers” is the latest craze to grip the nation, causing freak paranoia and strange behaviour.
Born out of “Chinese Whispers”, “British Whispers” aims to take pettyness and back stabbing to new heights in search of a groundbreaking world record.
D’n'B Scientists claim that the high levels of idle gossip floating around the D’n'B atmosphere have seriously contributed to “political warming”.
Political warming has the following side effects:
- Unusually long periods of heated conversations (”heat waves”)
- D’n'B ocean warming, gossip-level rise, and floods of new labels.
Unfortunately, “political warming” is invetable as we move into the digital revolution. It seems the death of vinyl and the birth of a new technological landscape have all contributed irreperably to rises in artist competition, levels of gossip and floods of new record labels. The fight for ownership continues: where it will all end we don’t yet know…
A new wave of Wobble-titus has swept the city, the first case being reported in North London. Tim Nitus claimed symptoms were typically: loud ringing in the ears, sore lower back and knees, a stonking headache and an over emotional state of mind. The cause of the epidemic is not yet known, but it is thought to be the result off spending an evening night rampaging at the local superclub listening to a savage eight hours of wobble-step. After a bout of 999 calls at unearthly hours, London doctors are swiftly working to treat the problem…the best advice they can give is to steer clear of the wobble…
When the fleet’s sinking, there are only two places to be: in the water or on a life-raft. Having taken many people’s money before pressing up their now-infamous 4 part vinyl series, a lot of people have been wondering, for quite some time, if they will ever see anything in their mailbox. Now, with members of the Armada team quitting with public statements, you have to wonder… Read more…
Legendary drum-masons Source Direct caused an uproar today when they publicly attacked clownstep, in a cold-hearted, ruthless maneouver. But why hide the beautiful hatred from the world? Read more…
